In 2013, I had several surgical procedures done at one time, requiring 6 to 8+ weeks of healing time. The first three weeks, I expected to feel pain and fatigue, but the second three weeks I was a little discouraged expecting to be feeling better by now.
As each day passed, and eager to get back to some sort of normal, it began to seem like it might never happen. I was told by many women that they never regretted having the surgery done and I was looking forward to being free of the limitations I’d had and getting my energy back.
But, as the days went on, I began to feel like I would never be the same. When you are in physical pain, it’s often hard to see beyond that moment. You want to feel better, you expect to feel better, but the pain and weakness persist.
Will my life ever be the same?, I wondered. My muscles were weak, I was tired all the time. And, to make matters worse, I had to return to my part-time job. I was anxious, feeling like I wasn’t ready, but they needed me desperately. So, I said a prayed for help and went off to work.
The first day, I took it easy and walked a little more slowly than my usual fast pace, but I made it through and wasn’t totally exhausted. Over the next few days, I was relieved that I was coping, even though I still felt out of sorts.
Maybe I am just going to have adjust to this new way of being, I consoled myself. Perhaps I needed to accept that this might not pass. So, I decided to make the best of it and continued on in my busy life, doing the best I could.
About half way through my workday, one Friday, I suddenly realized, with great relief, that I actually felt normal! I was back to my normal quick pace and feeling myself.
As I paused to express gratitude, I realized that these same thoughts and feelings can persist for us in a mental or emotional way, as well–a loved one dies, your sweet child becomes a mouthy teenager, your spouse leaves you, or you lose your job.
For a time, all you feel is the hurt, the pain. You feel weak and vulnerable. You mourn your loss. It seems nothing will ever be the same again. Every day, you long to feel normal again.
Then one day, when you’re least expecting it, it happens. You wake up and go about your day, when suddenly, happily, you realize, I feel good! The sun has come out and the clouds have passed. All is well again.
Life is cyclical. Just as the moon rotates around the earth, causing the tides to ebb and flow, so it is with our lives. In the growth cycle, sometimes you feel up, sometimes you feel down. You will always have ebbs and flows. Awareness and acceptance of this fact will give you greater perspective. When you’re in a low cycle, acknowledge it without judgment and remember that it will pass and you will feel good again.
Soon, life will be back to “normal” in whatever strange and unique way is yours to enjoy.