Wipe the slate clean... literally!

Ever have those days when you feel surrounded by cloudy thoughts because the alerts in your mind are pinging you and you haven't been able to turn them off? Yesterday, I had so many alerts going off that it triggered both sad and angry thoughts that had built up over time. There was simply too much happening that day and I never had the chance to address the frustrations. Today, I woke up feeling like I was wrapped in a cloud of despair and hopelessness ... NOT my normal M.O. My mood is optimistic and stable on most days, but yesterday's events triggered those nagging little grievances from the past and it all came flooding back like a raging storm that came out of nowhere. Truth be told, it's health insurance that triggered it. Having no employer benefits available, our insurance options have become so limited. The Affordable Care ACT is ANYTHING BUT affordable ... thanks, Obama! Oh, don't get me started. We've had to resort to a health sharing organization that isn't actually insurance and the rate is increasing in October by 50%! So, I found a local health insurance agent and, while our option are very limited, she did find something worth applying for. But, as we moved forwarded, there was roadblock after roadblock and all those angry thoughts that had been quieted, but weren't actually gone, started surfacing. I've learned not to keep it in, so my husband got to hear the brunt of it, and also my sweet, new agent, but both were sympathetic. The point is that it just opened the floodgates of thoughts that bombarded me all evening. Frustrations that I've held for eighteen years came up. Even God received some of my wrath. Thank the heavens for their patience with our mortal complaints! I couldn't think past all these sad and frustrating grievances. Don't you love the nature of the pesky little thought bombs? They just explode and things come up from as far back as your childhood. Victim mentality takes over and soon you find yourself sitting at your desk in despair and hopelessness. (Yeah, it's a little dramatic, but it's the human condition.) Being a coach, I have dozens of tools at my disposal, so I got to work. Ok, Trudy, take some deep breaths. Yeah, that's better. But, I still feel like crying. I start reasoning with myself. "You know, if you want help, you'e going to have to go to your highest trusted source that loves you no matter what." Fine. I kneel down to say a prayer asking that the darkness I am feeling be transformed by light and truth. I ask for my home to be cleansed and restored to its normal feeling of light and hope. I ask the same for myself. I sit back in my chair and ask myself, "what do I need to do to clear away these stupid persistent thoughts of feeling sorry for myself and anger towards someone else?" Normally, I would try a brain dump or scribbling out my negative emotions on paper. I turn and look at my whiteboard that has had the same reminders on it for weeks. I decide to erase everything and use my whiteboard to get it all out. Why? So that I wouldn't waste paper! :) I tried erasing with the whiteboard eraser, but the writing on the board had been there so long, it wasn't budging. I tried a wet paper towel, but that wasn't even removing it all. I didn't want to make the effort to go find the Windex, but I finally did, and it worked instantly and perfectly. First, I wrote at everything I was feeling: sad thoughts, angry thoughts, blaming thoughts, victim thoughts. I just keep writing over all the thoughts. I wrote until there was nothing more to say. Then I took a deep breath and assessed my mental condition. I still felt sad and angry, just not as intensely. What next? I wiped away the complaints and then tried connecting with my rational brain. I wrote down all the things I might be doing to cause this: limiting beliefs, blaming, lack of action, poor choices. I tried write with my left hand for a time. I just kept writing on top of the other words. I wrote out calming suggestions. I gave myself some advice. I showed myself some love and compassion even though I was throwing a little bit of a temper tantrum. I scribbled when I felt like it. I just kept writing over and over whatever came to mind until I felt heard and validated. When I felt done, I erased it and asked if there was more. Surprisingly, there was. I repeated the exercise until I felt done. I noticed several shifts in my perspective as I went through this exercise. Things became more and more clear. And eventually, the cloud dissipated and I returned to a calm and rational state. How long did this take? Maybe 15 or 20 minutes. Here's the takeaway from this simple, yet profound experience. Lessons from a Whiteboard Our mind is like a whiteboard. When it comes fresh from the factory, it's clean and clear. It's a space to note thoughts and feelings, to contemplate and work things out, and to express ideas. It's a tool to organize your thoughts and ideas, but it's not a place for them to remain permanently. Your dry erase marker represents the messages or alerts coming in. Your eraser represents your ability to let go. As we write on our whiteboard (or allow others to), we can start to clutter up the space. Once we've figured things out, learned the lesson, worked out a problem, or expressed a feeling, it's time wipe it clean. Keep going back to drawing board until you work things out. File away what's important and let the rest go. There's no need to allow thoughts to stay that aren't useful. They just clutter up the space. If you leave things there for too long, they become stagnant and are harder to wipe away. Try as we might to scrub away the old stuff, we sometimes need a stronger solution to help us. Don't waste time trying to clean up old stuff when you can easily wipe things away with a higher, holier solution. It's easier to keep it clear when you don't get bogged down by too much information. Keep it simple. Prioritize. Focus on what matters most. I'll be developing this technique further to promote it as a daily or weekly practice. My experience this morning (the good, the bad, AND the ugly) not only cleared away the dross in my mind, but it inspired me to write this post and use it for good. And so it is with much of the opposition of our lives. Every challenge presents an opportunity to learn, to grow, to shift, to connect with empathy and compassion, and to become better. Use the tools you have available to practice noticing, acknowledging, and eliminating interfering thought. The medium you use--paper, a whiteboard or chalkboard, your iPad and Apple pencil or even your child's magnetic board--doesn't matter. Remembering to use this method to wipe the slate in your mind clean every day can change awaken the compassion and intelligence within you and change the trajectory of your day, year, or even your life! What's on your slate? Go clean it now!